Time passes...
So still single, still lonely, still feeling worthless.Just a brief recap, still sleeping with 2 married men very very seldom. Still talking to, but it has been months since I've slept with the 25 year old,he has a small penis, and he is always leaving me hanging so I figure I'll keep him dangling in the wings in the case I get really really desperate.The netherlands guy left me on the curb,at least I don't have to see him at work anymore, since he moved to a different spot at work. So I'ev pretty much stopped fantasizing about him. I still seldom sleep with my boss from work, who isn't my boss from work, or even work with me at all anymore. I will have to think of a different nickname for him.My one girlfriend thinks he's a major pig, so maybe that will be his name. and he is kinda chubby, well he's the only man that I've ever been with that has weighed 200+, probably 250,and he's not real tall, just a big boy,played football in college and high school, and he is such a big-headed drunk, that he seems to fight when he goes to the bars.As far as the ex goes, seems he has changed his phone number completely. I catch myself calling him about once a month, but this last time, his Nephew called back. Informed me that my ex got a new number,and had given him his old one.I find this very interesting.Did he do this so that I wouldn't be able to contact him at all? Did he do this so that some other girl would completely stop calling him? I figure that his nephew will tell him that I called the old number,and if he wanted me to have his new number he would contact me somehow.So 2 days have gone by and no contact of his number, so either way, he has stopped contact with me a long time ago. i'm doing much better though, I don't cry myself to sleep at all anymore.I did break down and ask his dad what i should do, his dad had the nerve to tell me to stay in contact with the ex,but not be too pushy and that maybe he would wise up and realize what we had.I don't know why somthing like that would give me some hope, do i even really want him back? As time passes and I get older I think that I want to settle down, get married,have kids, share my house with a man,share the responsiblites of my house and life with a man. Then I go out drinking and dancing and having fun,flirting with everyone, making other men jealous.. and I think, I'm still young, no kids, no obligations,I jsut need to live life and have fun.
I'm actually doing alright,my phone is starting ring more often. I have a roommate now,at least it feels like I am pulling myself out of some debt,I can afford to start having some fun again. I can also afford to start fixing things around my house.and doesn't interior design jsut make you feel all warm and mushy inside. Well as far as the love life goes, there is no love, but alot of clean safe, kinky sex... if there is anyone that makes my heart beat faster its my pig of a boss.
posted by SingleSexGrl @ 7:34 AM
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