Ugghh! Another Married Man, Just what I need.
Instead of sitting at home I go out for some drinks with a former co-worker.Let me fill you in,he's married,34, 1 kid,and yes we had sex awhile back,we were both pretty drunk,and had always flirted at work.Well I had no intentions of sleeping with this man ever again,mainly due to the fact that he had ummm.. a rather small penis,and that he was not very good in bed.Like most men he tried his best to make up for it by being good in oral sex,witch was not bad,but didn't last very long from what I can remember.So anyway, there we were drinking at the bar and all the men around me were flirting and hitting on me,but they probably knew that I was there to see him.I had had enough alcohol and switched to coffee,but stayed for the fun of it,cause I was having a good time,he has always been able to make me laugh and smile.So during the whole night we flirted with each other, like we always do.So horny little me,invites him home. We get here and we start to talk and cuddle,I tell him that it is my time of the month and we might actually have to wait to actually have sex.I was intending of having sex with him,just because I was horny and I thought it would be just sex to us,but.... the plot thickens.
He tells me that him and his wife have filed for a divorce, my eyes opened WIDE. For some reason I was no longer horny.Well I guess it turns out that him and his wife have just grown apart,and he also found out that she had been having an affair for awhile with some other man. Well he tells me more shocking news,he has had a major thign for me for a long time now,and could not act on it, due to be married and all,and now he wanted to do something about it. He basically offered me the world,he wants to be the one to wake up to me every mornign and greet me when I come home from work,and take care of me and my cat.I'm attracted to him very much so,but the sex was not so great and in all reality the timing is not good.Is it not good cause I am jsut settling into the single life? Is it not good because we are both rebounding and vulnerable? Ugghh.. damn these married men!
Deep down though I wish it were the other married man that would say these things to me,and you know what I told the other married man what this one had said to me,and he told me to give it a shot and see where it goes. Damn these men!
Shy or Aggressive?
Tell me what kind of person are you?Are you shy or aggressive?So I was woken up after sleeping for a mere 4 hours by a guy friend at the door.This is a guy whom I've slept with before in fact I had some real good anal sex with him the day after my birthday.Yes I said anal, cause we didn't have much anything else,well I did give him oral sex, but that is what I do best, and rather enjoy.It's been about 4 years or more since I had had sex with him,so the offer of anal sex with him,I had to take him up on the offer,cause I always remembered it being great.And just as I thought it was great,he isn't too big or too long, he fits just right there,and usually that type of sex hurts from most men.Well anyway,my friend,we will call him Wal-Mart boss cause that is how we know each other from years and years ago,he comes over and we talk for about 3 hours about anything and everything. This man is so attractive to me,but let me tell you, he has 3 kids and a good woman that he has had since I've known him,so I know its merely just a physical and friendship attraction that we have.We have hung out many many times over the past 6 or so years without the thought of sex coming into the conversation,well NO it's a topic, but its not something we have acted on until the day after my birthday,and I will say we had both been drinking and doing some happy smoke,so we were pretty worked up.Well after 3 hours of talking yesterday,I'm dressed and ready for work, and he mentions that sex would be good right about now for him?WTF why does he wait until the last minute to say something?Shy, not an aggressive type,I guess that's my category.But why do I always have to be the one to chase?I'm pretty enough that the man shouldn't be able to keep his hands off me.I wasn't going to jump him cause he told me that night after my birthday that he was happy with Roxanne, and he basically told me that he had allot of guilt for doing it.Then wakes up the week after and wants me to jump him?WTF?Men are soooo confusing, its obvious that I want sex pretty much all the time,but when a man tells me that it didn't feel right, what am I supposed to do?Grrr...
O' the married man,he has had excuse after excuse as to why he can't come over.It's been what like 2 weeks now that we have been together.Does he really think that this is all worth it, he probably does cause he is probably getting it at home,of course I don't ask that or ever mention his wife at all.We talk at work,and eat lunch together, and play our game almost everyday,but its not about anything serious,right now his head is in Fucking Football.I did tell him that we should just be online friends and that he just didn't have time for me,he was not very happy about that.
So I contacted my Ex-boyfriend the other day.I called his cell phone,it went to his voice mail, I didn't leave a message,but I'm sure it shows the caller ID number, and NO he didn't call back.I also sent him a long E-mail,it was a bit sappy,jsut a bit,I was mainly jsut telling him whats new,and that my life is plain and boring without him,shit it was plain and boring with him,LOL.Either way this way he knows that I haven't moved on,and that he still holds a place in my heart.Is that wrong to tell him these things?I want to give him his space,I truly think he will find someone else that he actually loves more than me,and it will take him sooner than it will me,I tend to put up a pretty big wall.
So Tuesday's are the days that my married man usually coems over, I wonder if he will coem over, I'll let you know..I must not get my hopes up,since he tends to let me down when i do.
Woes of Dating
Well, still single and still sleeping alone every night married man admits that he doesn't want just the friendship and that he wants more,I tell him that its not fair that I sit around waiting to see him is just not right,and he doesn't know what to say to that.I know he is not going to leave his wife,and I'm not about to ask him to.All though it would not be so bad,I say this now cause I swear every man I meet is so not worthy of another date.Well besides my EX who doesn't E-mail me back or call me back when I've called him, ok so I didn't leave a message when I called,I didn't want to talk to his answering machine,I wanted to talk to him.Why though?
Either way.. Do I sit and wait around for the married man,well I gave in and called the Korean for a booty call.I will say that is the last time I do that.On NewYears the Korean blamed the drinking to not being able to keep it hard,what was his excuse this time?We had actual sex for about 5 minutes and then he goes limp? WTF? Do I put too much pressure on the man? Did he cum and not tell me, well I don't think that was it, because, get this.. Weird stuff.. Ready.. The Korean had to jerk himself off, while I licked and bit his nipples..WTF??Not to mention, he kisses way too much during sex, I like kissing don't get me wrong, but he's not that good of a kisser, so it doesn't do anything but keep my mouth wet,and my cheek, and my chin, and my friggin nose! I bet that he had masturbated before he went to bed and that by the time he came to my place he was spent.Either way, I should find me another booty call.Oh, and he got me a birthday gift, it was a very nice gift, something that I rather love and will keep forever, but of all the people I would have loved to get a gift from he wasn't one.Men just keep suprising me.What do I do about my married man? He's the only one that I've connected with and would want to see and do see every day, is it because I can't have him?
How Do you date a married Man?
Somebody needs to help me out with this, not sure what to think or what to do. So the married man wants to spend more time with me, he mentioned to me that he is thinking of seperating from his wife and asked if he could have one of my rooms at my place. I Haven't had anyone spend the night at my place yet and he knows this, he also knows that I don't want any long term commitment right now. I haven't mentioned anything about a relationship to him, and the reason he wants to separate from his wife is that he has been unhappy for awhile, I guess that's obvious since he cheated her, but why is he now thinking about leaving her and his 3 kids? I of course told him that he could stay with me, but he would have to sleep in my bed with me, DUH! I'm trying to tell him that his family is important and that many times I wish I had a family and that he is lucky to have a family to come home to, but he tells me that he is not sure if his relationship with his wife is worth staying with the family, he loves his children and won't ever abandon them, and will pay as much child support as he has to, and still do what he can to take care of his family.
I like him a lot, and he treats me very well, he is really anxious to take me to the movies and on a real date. You think he just wants some companionship? He's been with her since high school, and he's now 28 with 3 kids, this would be the 2nd time he has been separated from his wife since they have been married. He says they don't fight, just don't do anything besides work and stay at home, and he wants more out of life, and I guess she doesn't.
Not to mention I play an online game with him every day and work with him on a daily basis, so we get plenty of time to talk and get to know each other. My work schedule is changing and I won't work directly with him, I am curious to see if he still wants to hang out with me at work now. He was going to try and quit smoking for his new Year resolution, but of course since I smoke that didn't happen, cause we go outside to smoke together and talk about us in private. At work though my days off changed and they just happen to be the same days as his, and I have more seniority at work, enough that I could probably change mine, cause they suck for days off. He wants me to keep my days off so that we can hang out more often, and I want a weekend off so I can go out on dates, and he really doesn't want me to date I guess.
I'm just so confused, not sure really what to do, he is so cute to me, I just want to eat him up!
Don't Tell me how to do my Job!
I hate working graveyard shift sometimes, but somebody's gotta do it, right? Either way I had an interesting day at work today, I sure get tired of people telling me how to do my job, I wish I could quit and do like in Half Baked, Point at my co-workers and say "Fuck You! Fuck You! Fuck You! Your cool! I'm outta here" Let me explain my job without telling you exactly what I do, since I'm not allowed to talk about my job as it is "Sensitive Security Information". I work with the traveling public, and I will say that too many people have forgotten about 9-11. Shit they don't even remember things that happen a month ago, like the Russian Planes going down. Don't we all have jobs to do? Well let us do our job, I understand that some people with the same job as myself take it too far and take the power to their heads, and those people I say "FUCK YOU" for giving all of us a bad name. Not to mention I apologize for the people that work for the same company as me that take the power to their head. For all the grumpy travelers I get on a daily basis, there are about 5 people that actually appreciate the job we do. I have 3 more working days and then I won't have to deal with the actual passengers, thank God! But for all those that travel I say this to you " Take off your DAMN SHOES! "
Well enough about work, yesterday before I went to bed, my ex boyfriend of 7 years ago, sent me a online message, and me being the slut that I am, invited him over. Oh My God why does that man make me feel so good? We had sex for about 2 hours if not longer, and I will say it was some damn good sex, not the best I've had, but damn close.
Well its late or early however you want to look at it, it's 9:30am but since I wake up at 8:00pm to go to work, it feels late for me. So I am going to go pay some bills then head to bed.
Start of the Work Week
Well it's my Monday, the start of the boring work week. Last Night the Korean came over, he is real cute, but really asian. I am not normally attracted to guys that are real asian, but I find as I have gotten older that looks are not all that vital anymore. Since I had already had sex that morning with my married man, I was sure not to let the korean get too turned on, but he had asked if I wanted company so I let him come over. The last time I was with the korean I told him that he was too clingy, is he too clingy or I am trying not to kiss him. I think he is trying to smother me. When I was with him last we went dancing on New Year's Eve and I swear he was standing directly in front of me holding on to me like someone was going to snatch me up and kidnap me, I mean come on it was our 3rd date, that seems like smothering to me. Maybe I'm just not used to it, I don't know. I've got the Korean who is way too clingy, then there's the Bio-Chemist who isn't clingy at all. I have been dating the Bio-Chemist for almost a month and I sware he barely touches me. The bio-chemist was the only one that got me a X-Mas gift and after he gave me the gift he said good night by kissing me on the forehead, WTF? I've called him twice since then and he has failed to call me back. I know he is busy but maybe He realizes that I want things to go jsut a little faster. I don't know what I want from him, probably just friendship with some perks.
Either way, time to go for now, got bills to pay.
First Blog Ever
Well, most of my friends have Blogs, so I thought I would give this a shot. I'm 32, I'm attractive, I'm Single, I have a good job, and for some resaon I can't seem to find a man to marry me. I recently left my boyfreind of 6 years and now I'm living the single life. I am buying my first home all by myself, and its pretty scary. I've been real good though I haven't allowed anyone to spend the night with me. I've had some decent sex here, but nobody to spend the night.
Today I had sex with a married man, this was our 2nd time together, the first time he pulled the American Pie on me, he orgasmed before he even stuck it in. Today he couldn't keep it hard, it wasnt for lack of trying though, he said that it was because he was sick and tired, he did work all night, so the tired part might have been true, but at least this time he got it in. I told him that it was probably cause he was subconsciously thinking of his wife, or he wasn't attracted to me. Either way, what sex we had was pretty good, wish he would come over more often, the situation is probably the best thing right now, good sex with no commitment.
Well I'm going to end this for now, but in case you do read this, my blogs will probably be about my Sexual Encounters, I have to tell someone.
